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In 2001, TNN agreed to produce David Duchovny’s documentary series on basketball, “Two on Two,” but has since declined to move forward with his other pet project, “Six or Seven on David Duchovny.”

Orlando Jones, Duchovny’s “Evolution” castmate, fondly remembers him as the set prankster. In an interview with E!, Jones recalled, “He would call up the hair and makeup people late and night and say, ‘Knock knock. Who’s there? David Duchonvy,’ but he would actually be outside of their hotel rooms. I guess it wasn’t a very funny joke, actually.”

Duchovny made his directorial debut with the prison drama “House of D,” and his cotillion ball debut in front of a confused crowd in a Crowne Plaza banquet room.

David Duchovny often tells reporters that, despite parallels between them, he does not identify with “Californication“‘s conflicted anti-hero, Hank Moody. “It’s frustrating,” he told TVGuide. “He’s a fictional character possessed by the restless spirit of a murderous Indian ghost and I’m a human being possessed by the restless spirit of a murderous Indian ghost. But people don’t want to see the difference.”

Duchovny told People that he once disliked his distinctive features, but has come to appreciate them, particularly his cleft chin, noting “If you’re ever stranded anywhere without pornography, you can get a tiny mirror and pretend it’s a butt.”

David Duchovny has his own production company, Toy Plane Industries. The “casting couch” at his offices is actually a victorian-style four poster California King that he insists is a Jennifer Convertible that “got stuck on bed.”

David Duchovny has never used a live crab as a roach clip or a nipple clamp. Never.

David Duchovny had a small role in the original “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead.” When asked about the upcoming remake, Duchovny said, “What dead baby sitters? I don’t know anything about any dead babysitters!” and took off at a sprint towards a heavily wooded area.

(original.)

Your mama’s so fat that her blood type is A-negative with dangerously elevated levels of triglycerides.

Your mama’s so ugly because she is not considered conventionally attractive by cultural standards.

Your mama is so hairy that she went to an endocrinologist and it turns out she has an undiagnosed hormonal imbalance that causes hirstutism.

Your mama’s so dumb she saw a sign for “polish food” and she rubbed an apple on her shirt. But to be fair there was no capitalization so, honest mistake. That’s not really a reason to call somebody dumb. Plus, she laughed at herself afterwards, and besides I think she was making a joke. It was kind of an awkward car trip. Your mom isn’t dumb; that’s actually called a “heteronym.” 

Your mama’s so fat that when she sat on a rainbow, she fell rather hard, because you can’t actually “sit” on a rainbow. It’s actually a weird bit of hypothetical absurdism to put in a joke for the sake of insulting someone that undermines itself by leaching it of literal meaning. It might be more hurtful to insult your mother’s taste in men or clothes.

Your mama is so old that Jesus is in her yearbook. While it’s since fallen considerably in popularity, “Jesus” was once very common as a given name in many Latino cultures, peaking in the United States in the late 1960s. The joke presupposes that your mother graduated from high school at the zenith of “Jesus“‘s popularity, which would make her around sixty years of age. That’s pretty old, for a mom, unless you’re like college-age. But why not? More and more women are waiting to have kids.

Your mama’s so worried about raising you in a time that consistently undervalues the aesthetic contributions of women that she said she loved “Bridesmaids” when she thought “Bridesmaids” was just okay.

Your mother wears combat boots into Japanese apartments, which is impolite.